First, allow me to say several things about forgiveness. Forgiveness is really about the person doing the forgiving. It is not about the person who did wrong. The old African proverb frames the issue superbly: Not forgiving is like drinking poison and waiting on the person we refuse to forgive to die. Yes, yes, yes!
Not forgiving is a poison lurking within our entire being – our emotions; our minds; our bodies; our spirits. Not forgiving is bad for us. Forgiving is good for us. However, we often think we are hurting those we think did us wrong when we refuse to forgive. The poison of not forgiving is killing us while those we refuse to forgive are going on about their business. Forgiveness is truly a gift to ourselves.
I was reminded of this strange forgiveness within the past few weeks. A White female police officer went into the apartment of an African American man and shot him down. The officer said that she thought the Black man was in her apartment. Mind you, his apartment was on another floor in the same building. Mind you, it was not the same kind of door in the apartment. Mind you, the Black man was sitting on a couch eating ice cream when she opened the door. She walked in and shot him dead. Mind you, he was unarmed. There is a strange standard of forgiveness in these United States of America.
There was a trial, which usually does not happen when a White police officer kills a Black man. Then the jury found the police officer guilty of murder, which usually does not happen when a White police officer kills a Black man. Then the officer was sentenced to 10 years in prison, which usually does not happen when a White police officer kills a Black man. However, if the shoe was on the other foot (as the old folks say) - where a black person kills a White person in similar circumstances - the sentence would have been death in some jurisdictions and life without parole in others. In this instance, the maximum would have been 99 years. But the sentence of 10 years was more than would have been done based on past happenings.
Then this strange forgiveness set in. After a sentence of 10 years was imposed by the judge on the White police officer, the brother of the slain Black man, who is also Black, pronounced his forgiveness for the White officer and hugged her. The judge gave the convicted police officer a gift of a Bible and hugged her. If the convicted person were Black, I wonder if the Black brother would have forgiven and hugged him/her. If the convicted person were Black, I wonder if the Black Judge would have forgiven him/her and given them a gift and hugged them.
Let me tell you why I think this strange forgiveness happened. I believe profoundly in forgiveness. However, I cannot recall one instance of a White person on television forgiving a Black person who was convicted of killing their family member. A similar scenario occurred in Charleston, South Carolina when a White man killed nine African Americans in the Mother Emanuel AME Church after they had allowed him to sit in on their Bible class. At the arraignment of the killer of nine human beings, a number of Black family members pronounced their forgiveness. There is a strange type of forgiveness in these United States of America.
A similar scenario unfolded in Selma, Alabama. A White man burned down a Black church in Tyler, a rural community about 10 miles from Selma. He was later caught and charged by law enforcement. He pled guilty. Then a group of Black ministers showed up at his sentencing hearing to forgive him and asked that he not be imprisoned or jailed. In my 48 years of practicing law in Selma, I never saw or heard of a group of Black ministers coming to court to express forgiveness for a single Black person, not to speak of, one who had committed a serious crime. The White man who had burned down a Black church out of pure racial hate was given a short sentence and placed on probation. He did not serve a day in jail. I could not help but wonder how many years a Black man would have had to serve in prison if he had burned down a White church. I also wondered if any of these Black ministers would have shown up if a Black man had burned down the very same Black church.
Allow me to say why I think this strange forgiveness happens in America. In my humble opinion, this is one more terrible manifestation of White supremacy in these United States of America. White supremacy says that we, Black people, are less than White people. For hundreds of years, it said that we, Black people, were subhuman. Our lives were not worth as much as many animals. This White supremacy forged an inhuman slavery, a strict racial segregation by law, lynching, forced labor, mass incarceration, and many police shootings of unarmed Black men. White supremacy is lodged in all of us, White and Black and others. We usually call it internal oppression when it is in those of us who are Black or other races or ethnicities. The degrees vary. The manifestations vary. However, deep down, White supremacy is the poisonous well from which these manifestations flow. There is a strange standard of forgiveness in these United States of America.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am strongly for forgiveness. I just wish Blacks would forgive Blacks. I wish Whites would forgive Blacks. I wish we all could forgive each other so that the forgiveness manifested in South Carolina and Texas and Selma would not be so strange.
EPILOGUE – Forgiveness is so powerful. It is even more powerful when it springs from a well of self-love.
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