‘Agreeing to disagree’ is hurting your relationships – here’s what to do instead

  As Americans become more polarized, even family dinners can feel fraught, surfacing differences that could spark out-and-out conflict. Tense conversations often end with a familiar refrain: “Let’s just drop it.”

  As a communications educator and trainer, I am frequently asked how to handle these conversations, especially when they involve social and political issues. One piece of advice I give is that “agree to disagree,” or any other phrase that politely stands in for “stop talking,” will not restore harmony. Not only that, but it could also do permanent harm to those important family bonds.

To have better disagreements, change your words – here are 4 ways to make your counterpart feel heard and keep the conversation going

  Your 18-year-old daughter announces she’s in love, dropping out of college, and moving to Argentina. Your yoga-teaching brother refuses to get vaccinated for COVID-19 and is confident that fresh air is the best medicine. Your boss is hiring another white man for a leadership team already made up entirely of white men.

  At home, at work, and in civic spaces, it’s not uncommon to have conversations that make you question the intelligence and benevolence of your fellow human beings.