Teaching our children to be better than us

  Do parents have moral standing to impose standards on their children that they themselves did not follow when they were kids? Is it ever ethical for parents to lie to a child about their youthful experiences?

Fathers need to care for themselves as well as their kids – but often don’t

  If you had to choose, which would you rather have: a healthy father or a good father?

  Studies suggest men often choose being a good father over being healthy.

  Becoming a father is a major milestone in the life of a man, often shifting the way he thinks from being “me focused” to “we focused.” But fatherhood can also shift how men perceive their health. Our research has found that fathers can view health not in terms of going to the doctor or eating vegetables but how they hold a job, provide for their family, protect and teach their children, and belong to a community or social network.

Parenting styles vary across the United States

  Most people agree that children should have enough to eat, not be sexually molested, and never be punished in a way that requires medical treatment. But beyond those basics, my research has found that parenting styles in the United States vary by region.

Nurturing dads raise emotionally intelligent kids – helping make society more respectful and equitable

  When my oldest son, now nearly 14, was born in July of 2008, I thought I could easily balance my career and my desire to be far more engaged at home than my father and his generation were. I was wrong.

  Almost immediately, I noticed how social policies, schools, and health care systems all make it difficult for dads to be highly involved and engaged at home. Contradictory expectations about work and family life abound.

When parents turn children into weapons, everybody loses

  Domestic abuse can involve one parent using a child as a weapon against the other parent, which harms the child in immense ways. My research has identified how these dynamics play out and examines the damage.

  There are approximately 5.7 million cases of domestic abuse in the U.S. each year, and in some of those, mothers and fathers use children to manipulate and harm the other parent. This behavior can include directly pressuring the child to spy on the abused parent or threatening the abused parent that they will never see the child again if they leave the relationship.

Psychology behind why your mom may be the mother of all heroes

  Each May, the United States celebrates Mother’s Day, and for good reason. According to surveys I’ve conducted, over 25% of Americans cite their mother as their number one hero. Fathers come in a distant second at 16%.

  Moms are indeed the mother of all heroes.

Pleasure is good: How French children acquire a taste for life

  One of the most common New Year’s resolutions people make is to lose weight by dieting. The idea is that restricting the pleasures of tasty foods will lead to greater fitness and a finer physique. But if these rewards are so valuable, why is it so hard for us to stick to our resolution? Maybe the problem is that when we try to lose weight, we also lose the pleasure of eating.

  What if we could have it all? Keep the pleasure and stick to our resolution? In the United States, we tend to compartmentalize pleasure, separating it from our daily chores and relegating it to special times. We have happy hours, not happy days. We have guilty pleasures, as if enjoying chocolate or a favorite movie is a moral failing.

Time to cook is a luxury many families don’t have

  Have Americans forgotten how to cook? Many lament the fact that Americans spend less time cooking than they did in previous generations. Whereas women spent nearly two hours a day in the kitchen in 1965, they spent a little less than an hour preparing meals in 2016. Men are cooking more than they used to but still only cook 20 minutes a day.

  In a 2014 TED Talk, which has more than 8 million views, British chef and food celebrity Jamie Oliver paces the stage, lecturing the audience about the amount of processed food people in the United States consume. His message: Americans “need to start passing on cooking skills again.”

Hank Sanders: Sketches #1663 - Raising children is a great challenge

  Raising children is a great challenge. Children are raised all over the world. Children are raised in every culture. Children are raised in every country. Children are raised everywhere. Nearly everyone says that it is more difficult to raise children today. Every generation says it’s more difficult now than in the past. But it was always difficult to raise children.  Raising children is a great challenge.

  I remember my mother by marriage, Mrs. Ora Lee Gaines, saying to Faya and me: "You all are doing your children wrong by bringing all these other children into this house. These children will be a bad influence on them." Mrs. Gaines loved our children. Mrs. Gaines loved McRae Gaines' children. Mrs. Gaines loved children period. But she was living with us during the week as she directed McRae Gaines Learning Center and going home to Birmingham on the weekends. She was also helping raise our children. We had to give consideration to the issues raised.

Michael Josephson: Who am I to judge? – The ethics of moral judgments

  Almost every week someone indignantly attacks my integrity because I offended them with a real or perceived opinion they didn’t like. The underlying assumption is that stating an opinion on any controversial matter violates the sacred duty of neutrality.

  First, I’m a teacher and a commentator, not a judge or journalist. Although I strive mightily to be objective, I don’t feel obligated to be neutral. Objectivity implies impartiality, detachment, and independence in evaluating evidence; it doesn’t preclude expressing judgment.

Michael Josephson: Teaching our children to be better than us

  Do parents have moral standing to impose standards on their children that they themselves did not follow when they were kids? Is it ever ethical for parents to lie to a child about their youthful experiences?

  These are important questions because it’s a parent’s duty to teach, enforce, advocate and model good behavior for their kids. Sure, it’d be easier if we never did anything we’re uncomfortable being honest about, but judgment and responsibilities grow as we mature. Good parenting would be impossible if we were disqualified from setting and demanding high standards of prudent and ethical behavior no matter how foolish we were as youngsters. Our duty to be a good model concerns the present, not the past.