Rich Schwartzman: An intoxicating hypocrisy

  Today’s socially conservative Republicans are reminiscent of the proverbial Puritan who had trouble sleeping because he knew that, somewhere, people were enjoying themselves.

  These are the same Republicans who say they’re for small government, unless, of course, they think you’re doing something of which they don’t approve. Then they need to create laws against those things.

  Not all the members of the “I know better” crowd are well-known members on the national level of politics.

Ask Dr. Bumdinkle: Are open relationships healthy?

  Author's note: Yes, I'm back. It's a condition of my parole to give people advice on trivial matters which they should have the sense to sort out on their own.

Dear Dr. Bumdinkle:

  I love my girlfriend deeply. We may even get married one day. Since we met, we have considered ourselves to be in an "open relationship," which by our standards at least means we're free to romance other people, including having sex, but our emotional bond and the core relationship stays strictly between us. We do not get attached to other people. In other words, despite our flings with others, we always come home to each other. And yet we often get criticized by our friends for sleeping with other people.

Gene Policinski: Websites that rate services raise free-speech questions

  Freedom of speech might logically seem to apply the same way whether the speech takes place on the street corner or on the Internet.

  But that basic First Amendment premise is as yet unsettled in our new Web world.

  An intricate set of laws and judicial opinions on free speech and defamation has evolved over several centuries, from a system that existed mainly to protect the elite from criticism to one that enables anyone to seek compensation for what they see as unfair damage to their reputation.

Gary Palmer and Cameron Smith: Debt > Dollars = Disaster

  Every American who has a credit card has a credit limit. Usually that limit is based roughly on what the credit card company determines the cardholder can reasonably pay off given their income and assets. Recently, U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner announced that, in effect, the economic sky is falling in the United States because the federal government has maxed out its own credit card. As of May 16th, Secretary Geithner reported to Congress that the federal government had reached the statutory federal debt limit of $14.294 trillion. He further noted that, to avoid breaching the debt limit, the Treasury could delay payments to federal employee pension funds until August 2, 2011. Rather than suggesting the federal government live within its means by immediately looking for ways to cut back, Geithner suggested that Congress increase the federal government's credit limit.

Ian M. MacIsaac: Pawlenty and Huntsman compete to unseat ‘Romney by default’

Editor’s note: This is the second piece in a series of three on potential and announced Republican presidential primary candidates. The first piece concerned Newt Gingrich; the third will concern Michele Bachmann. Read the first article in the series here.

  Tim Pawlenty announced officially on Monday his candidacy for President of the United States, and showed himself to be no less bland on that occasion than he did on any previous occasion. Just kidding, kind of. But he’s going to have to learn how to avoid that word “bland” if he’s ever going to make it to the convention next year.

  From Des Moines, Iowa, former Minnesota Governor Pawlenty made a very standard speech about being the kind of candidate who will “look you in the eye and tell you the truth” and tell voters facts that they don’t want to hear. The speech was even entitled “A Time for Truth.”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Advice Columnist Dr. Bumdinkle Returns to Capital City Free Press

Capital City Free Press

Contact: Joseph O. Patton, Editor and Publisher
josephopatton[at]yahoo.com

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Advice Columnist Dr. Bumdinkle Returns to Capital City Free Press

MONTGOMERY - A long-running contributor to the Capital City Free Press, Dr. Thaddeus P. Bumdinkle, is making a return to the publication, bringing back his popular “Ask Dr. Bumdinkle” advice column that ran monthly for more than five years.

Bumdinkle fielded letters from readers requesting advice on matters ranging from relationship problems to workplace dilemmas. Known for his vicious wit and humorous take on everyday situations, Bumdinkle will resume his column beginning May 30.

Regarding his hiatus and subsequent return to the Capital City Free Press, founder, editor and publisher Joseph O. Patton explains, "Basically he's on parole and needs something productive to do with his time." He adds, "I mean, one time he bit Josh [Carples, CCFP managing editor], but that was funny too."

Imminently qualified to dispense advice to the general public, Dr. Bumdinkle holds a degree in Brain-Pickin' from Rooster Poot Community College (Southwest Possum Trot Annex); a theological something or other from Six Flags Over Jesus University in Tuberculosis Springs, Montana; and a crumpled certificate from a defunct cruise line that states he's one hell of a limbo competitor.

Dr. Bumdinkle's hobbies and interests include heckling female impersonators (drag queens), extensively studying various forms of whiskey and naked Crisco alligator wrestling. If you need advice on an issue, or just have a comment or suggestion, send an email to: drbumdinkle[at]yahoo.com.

Note: "Ask Dr. Bumdinkle" is not intended for a mature audience, just older folks who are not easily offended.

Steve Flowers: Inside The Statehouse: Legislative update

  The last two Aprils have not been good to Alabama. On April 20, 2010, the infamous BP Deepwater oil spill disaster occurred. The massive eruption off the Louisiana coast sent crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico continuously for 85 days. We are still trying to calculate the damage. In just one example, Alabama’s beach rental revenue fell from $133 million in 2009 to $70 million last year. The ecological damage probably cannot be properly assessed for decades.

  On April 27, 2011, Alabama was struck by the worst natural disaster in our history. Over 30 tornadoes swept through the state destroying entire neighborhoods and towns killing over 250 Alabamians. The devastation is unbelievable. The loss of lives is unparalleled and the cost incalculable. It will be years before the recovery is complete.

Laurence M. Vance: Not ending Medicare as we know it

  Capitol Police recently arrested 89 protesters from the disability rights group ADAPT for occupying the rotunda of the Cannon House Office Building. They were demonstrating against the proposed changes in Medicaid in the recently passed House budget resolution that would reduce the program’s funding and turn it into block grants to the states. “Block grants kill,” read some of the protest signs.

  This follows outrage by Democrats and senior-citizen groups over the proposed changes to Medicare in the same budget resolution. They are upset about the House Budget Committee’s plan to convert Medicare into a voucherized private insurance program. Said Obama press secretary Jay Carney: “The House Republican plan places the burden of debt reduction on those who can least afford it, ends Medicare as we know it and doubles health care costs for seniors in order to pay for more than a trillion dollars in tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires.”

Heather Boushey, Jordan Eizenga: The JOBS Act is not about jobs

  House Republicans introduced the Jobs, Opportunity, Benefits, and Services Act of 2011 or, as they prefer to call it, the JOBS Act of 2011, on May 11, 2011. To be clear, the JOBS Act, which provides an incentive for states to cut unemployment benefits, is less about creating jobs and more about hurting those who have lost one. The JOBS Act would greatly weaken an already fragile unemployment insurance system, jeopardize our still-fragile economic recovery, and provide undue hardship to millions of households. Congress should reject this legislation and instead focus on policies that create jobs and strengthen our economy.

  The JOBS Act makes eligibility for unemployment insurance, or UI, benefits conditional upon possessing or currently pursuing a high school education. It also allows states to use federal unemployment funds for purposes other than providing UI benefits. These changes would have a profoundly negative impact on both the UI system itself and the economy. For instance, the Economic Policy Institute estimates that the JOBS Act could result in between 65,000 and 136,000 fewer jobs than under current law.

Gary Palmer and Cameron Smith: Time for tenure reform

  The next battle between public employee unions and a reform-minded legislature is taking place in Montgomery, Alabama. And even though Alabama is a right-to-work state, where employees' right not to join or support a union is protected, most of Alabama's education employees are members of powerful trade associations that are effectively public employee unions. The battle taking place concerns tenure reform and the ability to efficiently remove incompetent teachers. 

  The Students First Act coming up for consideration in the Alabama House of Representatives does not eliminate tenure. In fact, it would preserve tenure for probationary teachers who teach for three consecutive school years within the same school systems. Once teachers attain tenure, they can only be terminated for specific reasons. The greatest change comes in the form of a streamlined appeals process that would, among other provisions, allow school boards to stop making salary and benefit payments 75 days after the employee is terminated or when the appeal concludes, whichever is earlier. The legislation also explicitly states that teachers cannot be terminated for political or personal reasons.