Disclaimer: Don't be a jackass. "Ask Dr.
Bumdinkle" is for entertainment purposes only.
Dr. Bumdingleberry or whatever:
As a proud American who believes in the Floundering
Fathers’ belief that Jesus should run our government and black folks should not
be allowed to be black folks, I’m joining the movement to petition the
President to consider a request from my home state Alabama – Roll Tide! – to
secede from the Union.
We just can’t tolerate Barack Hewsane Obama and all
his socialism and communism and whatnot. He’s taking away our liberties and
Bibles and such. I mean, I know he’s gonna crawl through my window one night
like a thieving gypsy in the moonlight and steal the 58 handguns I hide under
my bed along with my dirty pictures of Ann Coulter.
Also, I love my wife… I love her best friend, too…
and her daughter… but Obama is going to force homoskankual marriage on us
sooner or later and make the preacher at my church bake quiche and replace our
hymns with show tunes. Jesus ain’t down with that! Plus I have a small butt
hole, and I’m pretty frightened over how all that’s gonna play out.
I want to stand up for my country… you know, by
leaving it… and I just wondered what you thought about all this.
Don’t tweed on me!
Sincerely,
Revolting in Red Level
Dear Stupid-Ass Redneck:
Peace out, Homey! And I’ll pray for your butt
hole.
-Dr. Thaddeus P. Bumdinkle
P.S. Take your meds!
Need advice or simply want to be ridiculed? (Comments,
hate mail, marriage proposals, and baked goods are welcome also.) Email Dr.
Bumdinkle: drbumdinkle[at]yahoo.com.
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City Free Press
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