Joseph O. Patton: When did God appoint Representative Bridges as the new Gay Czar?

  There are those people… the ones who would callously steal candy from children or abuse their pet without remorse… and then there’s Alabama Rep. DuWayne Bridges (R-Valley), who I would argue ranks firmly among them.

  Pandering to all those in his district and beyond who seem to think gays and lesbians are second-class citizens, he’s introducing a bill in the Alabama House that would prohibit public universities from offering benefits to the domestic partners of their gay and lesbian employees. Bridges’ legislation, which I’m taking the liberty of calling ‘The Bigot Bill,’ is reportedly in response to UAB offering such benefits beginning last month, and UAH, which is scheduled to follow suit in January.

  Bridges’ argument is beyond weak, laden with obnoxious whining that the State should not pay for such things because it will somehow increase the burden on taxpayers. Lest we forget, taxpayers in Alabama have the lowest tax burden in the country as it is. (Roll Tide!) It’s humorous considering only an itty-bitty fraction of Alabamians are gay, and even fewer will declare so publicly, much less live openly as part of a same-sex couple. After all, the legions of Bubbas throughout The Heart of Dixie who thrive on Bud Light, stockpiling guns and beating their common-law wives don’t take too kindly to “queers” anyway. Suffice it to say, very, very few same-sex couples would be participating in this program, not because they don’t want to provide for their partner, but because “coming out” in Alabama is about as endearing as giving someone leprosy for Christmas.